Harangued by horrendous homophones of home buying:

Banks:

When you buy a house you have to talk to a number of banks and they are filled with bank people at phone banks. You really have to be able to bank on the bank that you choose, so it’s best to select from a large bank of them. We tried the banks along the bank of the Missouri, but Missouri banks are hard to bank on as the interest they are charging would not be in our best interest, so interestingly we aren’t interested.

Inspectors:

Well, we need to know what is going on with the well, so we can see how well the well is working and whether or not we can stay well while drinking the well water.

Also, we need to terminate any termites that might otherwise make our potential home terminal, especially if our home is a terminal, or terminus, for termites. I hope that the termites, if there are any, are tertiary to our territory.

We need to confirm that the septic isn’t septic, because we can add anti-septic to the septic, but that only goes so far and no one wants to get sepsis from a septic septic.

Of course we also need to have the building inspector inspect our buildings so we can see if we need to do any building before we buy the buildings, which is to say that we would build any building that needed to be built into the contract so we’re not buying buildings that need rebuilding. Sure, the seller can always think that we’re gilding the deal with our building rebuilding, but if you’d seen the cellar that the seller is selling you wouldn’t put a ceiling on what the inspector might suggest needs sealing.

Dork:

Me