Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Seriously, it's hard to believe some of the things people say to strangers.

I was out this evening, and a complete stranger (drunk) came up to me with the following diatribe:

"There's nothing in the world sweeter than a *sleeping* boy." I nodded, tho I thought, in fact, that was not true, as my son is his sweetest when he's giving hugs and kisses, or flirting with strangers, or tipping his head to the side and walking with big steps around the house, or a hundred other sweet waking moments, but yes, he was sleeping sweetly, so I nodded and smiled... Which I guess she took as encouragement to go on.

"Oh, god, but when they are *Awake!* Believe me, I have 4. I KNOW. Don't worry, it gets better when they turn three. It's like something magic happens, and their brains finally can actually think. I mean, you have one, and it's hard, then you have another, and the only thing worse than a 2 year old is a 2 year old and an infant, and you'll be like, 'I really signed on for this???' Then you'll have another one."

At which point I kind of wanted to say, "Actually, that's unlikely, as my husband died. I would love nothing more than a few more children, but the chances seem small now..." But instead I smiled, and nodded. And she went on...

"He's what, year and a half?" (nod) "Oh, yeah, I know you're thinking 'how on earth do single thirteen year olds even survive this?' right?" (no, not really) "Don't worry - I promise - 3 years old. It will be better. Man, people would tell me 'Cherish this time, it's the best of your life' and I thought if this is the best, I want out!" Again I smiled, weakly, and nodded, slightly. And she went on.

But it was more of the same. Eventually she went away. I said little to her, as she was speaking a totally foreign language, and I couldn't even pretend I understood.

Now, in response, I say to the blog readers out there, "If you hate kids, maybe you shouldn't have 4. Pills. Condoms. Abstinence. Whatever, but not 4 kids. Those poor things. Also, just because you hated your kids doesn't mean I hate mine, or that I want to hear you talk down about this time in my life. I adore my son every second. He amazes me, delights me, inspires me, and comforts me. I'm so so sorry you can't find the same light in your own children, but maybe it wasn't in your genes to pass on, because you are a bitter, angry, selfish hag."

No, not you, reader. Unless it was you who approached me the other day.

I guess a mother's love isn't always what it's meant to be.


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