My folks were here in St. Louis tonight, I just left them out at V's and I am feeling melancholoy. They wanted to watch tapes from the past few years as they've just figured out how to play them back on their camcorder, R and I were together in most of the videos - that stuff is a little hard to watch. I also miss my folks and hate that I see them for one or two days every few months and it seems like they are aging so fast, my father's nose is bigger my mother looks more weathered. It's a sad night. I am drinking a Vanilla vodka martini and reading John Horgan's Rational Mysticism - which you should all buy and read. Phil sent it to me after that last conversation. Last summer we built a garage for/with my dad, watching the tape of us putting up the frame - filmed right before Glenn's murder - it feels like that was five or ten years ago, ancient history. This has been the longest year of my life.