There’s no problem, only solutions:

I am over the nausea with these drugs I am on and we are into a new side show. I noticed it for the first time last week. To avoid the icks I was taking the drugs right before I slept, but I’ve been staying up later these past few days and I’ve discovered that fairly soon after I take the meds I cease to function at any kind of an acceptable mental level.

I was in the middle of a project tonight and downed my pills, just because I was thinking about it, and now I am useless. I could watch a film or walk around the house looking at objects with a bemused and unfocused smirk, but I cannot do academic work. My doctor had advised me that it was best to take this stuff before bed and she wasn’t kidding. It’s not a consistent affect, but when it hits me I am thusly hit.

So I guess I’ll babble since I can’t get anything else done and maybe it will pass. I’ve been feeling something about my blog of late. I have been putting most of my mental energy into school and school just keeps getting more challenging – not in terms of material, but in terms of time. The more I have to do the less I want to blog and the less I have to blog about. Every once in awhile nice people comment on my blog and I like that so I guess I’ll stick with it. Still, gone for a time are the days of existential woe where I came here to wonder about the weltschmertz of it all.

I’ve stopped longing to be some kind of writer and have satisfied myself with being a teacher. It’s all I really want. Writing is a hobby for me, something that I half heatedly kick around, but teaching is my passion. It can be a simple silly thing to finally grasp that the grass you’ve always had around you is the greenest there will ever be.

Despite the death of my much loved fish, my problems with the financial aid department, and the forces of entropy in general I would have to say things are going well.

Atypical gesture from the likes of Karl - I’ve had a John Lennon song rolling around in me for a few weeks that sums up how I’ve been feeling.

Watching the Wheels:

People say I’m crazy doing what I’m doing
Well they give me all kinds of warnings to save me from ruin
When I say that I’m o.k. well they look at me kind of strange
Surely you’re not happy now you no longer play the game

People say I’m lazy dreaming my life away
Well they give me all kinds of advice designed to enlighten me
When I tell them that I’m doing fine watching shadows on the wall
Don’t you miss the big time boy you’re no longer on the ball

I’m just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go

Ah, people asking questions lost in confusion
Well I tell them there’s no problem, only solutions
Well they shake their heads and they look at me as if I’ve lost my mind
I tell them there’s no hurry
I’m just sitting here doing time

I’m just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go
I just had to let it go
I just had to let it go


My part time job is good. My classes are good. I have a few leads on work for this fall. Instead of an internship I may actually get a fulltime job. My money situation has normalized. I love my bike routine and now I have a helmet and safety glasses courtesy of M.B. I ran into Angela B’s old roommate Amy from college on today’s bike trek and inadvertently helped them get back in touch. I am always running into people I know.

I am thinking about how different my written academic voice is from how I write here. I am considering using what I’ve learned as a casual blogger to blog in a more productive way, more in line with my praxis. These toys of ours have the potential to be so much more, as do we.

Code Maslow: we’ve had conflicting reports of a self actualized person in the vicinity. Please alert the appropriate authorities should you witness any Gandhi like behavior.