Once upon a time – it seems to me – I had a life outside of my job. That’s not so much the case anymore. Jes and I have three half watched movies right now from Netflix. I make it about halfway through a movie and I have to go to sleep. Since Jes hasn’t been working yet – school starts back next week for her – she has reverted to her night owl schedule, which means that sometimes she is just going to bed when I am getting up in the morning (right around four). She loves this simpatico in our schedules (insert ironic chuckle here).

I am only able to type this because when I got home tonight I fell immediately asleep. I slept for two hours, so I have a rare window of recharged consciousness before I crash out again. It will continue like this until the summer. My school doesn’t even have a Spring Break, just the odd three day weekend (Easter) or longed for snow day (which we just have to make up in the summer anyway); one and a half down, seventeen and some to go.

I was at Goodwill the other day, browsing in the toys section, and there was a heavy duty play rug for a child’s playroom. The rug was Winnie the Pooh themed and had scenes from various stories that children could use as settings for their imaginations. The child sits on the rug and imagines that they are chasing bees by the old tree or watching Pooh get carried away by the big red balloon. There are little roads so that they can drive their cars from tableau to tableau.

It occurred to me tonight that I could get one of those rugs made depicting scenes from my life when I had more of a life. Instead of the house at Pooh corner I could have a little picture of the Dukum Inn and maybe a little Shoot-A-Rack in another corner. I could have the Saratoga bowling alley and Tiffany’s diner with a little picture of a breakfast platter slathered in week old chili. I could sit on the rug in my front room and wistfully imagine a time when I went places other than work or the grocery store.

Is this part of the reason why people have children, so they have something to do since they are going to just be sitting around at home anyway? Sometimes work is just too much work, and I am living to work right now rather than working to live. It’s a good thing I love my job, it’s just that my former life and my loving wife miss me. Perhaps when we solve the commute things will be better.