Doing well, going to hell.

Never sure how to react… house-warming party at Hannah’s… time to leave. Outside the party we discover that someone has taken a crowbar to the passenger door handle of my car. It has been dislodged from the door and is hanging from the side of the car by the cables. I only keep liability on my cars so I have no recourse. We don’t call the police because what would be the point? My rates would just go up. I’ve wasted breath on cops before and seen nothing happen. Like when Sebastian was attacked or when my LTD was crushed by a drunk driver at 3 am. They somehow got away after hitting nearly every car on the same side of the street. I have been a victim many times, but I have yet to see anything that makes me think justice is more than a nice idea.

My car has not been broken into – the door still works. Perhaps this just was happening as we were exiting the party and they ran. There was nothing to steal in the car. Nothing was stolen except my enjoyment of the evening and the presentable visage of my vehicle.

I am unemployed as of tomorrow and people are attempting to break into my car. The car door is now fucked up and not easily fixable. We do not seem to be on a good path do we? On the other hand, it could have been much worse. They could have broken out a window, etc. This attack is small in scope. Why does my life suddenly feel like the beginning of Stripes?

Hannah has to live in that neighborhood, though St. Louis has a high car crime rate in general. On Arundel Place in a very nice neighborhood someone smashed out the window of my Ford Fiesta to steal my radar detector; I had taken the device in the house and left the cord. So too, my cell phone was in my pocket, but the charger cable was glowing green LED from the cigarette lighter, perhaps they thought there was something there to steal.

Impersonal attacks are in some ways worse than personal ones as they remind us of the simmering hostility of which we are all potential targets.

Hannah, “We should still report it for the sake of the neighborhood.”

Vanessa, “It’ll just make your rates go up.”

Karl, “I just want to go home and go to bed.”

Goodnight