Blah, welcome to Friday. The heat index for today will be between 105 and 110. This is not good as it is still June. I’m really worried my glacier might melt and it’s clear my friend frosty is doomed. I watered yesterday morning and by this a.m. the soil was dry and cracked.

I hung out with Hannah last night. She and Shelly are now six, with AJ and Shelly’s kids, in that south side place. They have a home loan in process for some expansions. No more bleach in the hair and doing well I’d wager. Shelly and I are in the same boat in two regards, both looking for teaching jobs for the fall and both on TB meds (she’s just finished hers actually). It’s a small world after all.

Oh, thank god for coffee. I am still a little jet lagged from the traveling weekend. We are waiting for Beth to finish at a client’s so she can go into the main office and upload the pictures.

I am feeling really defeated. I am taking an undergrad psyche course that is a prerequisite for the grad course I am in so I have to take it. I have my first exam in the class on Monday which I am a little unprepared for as I can’t afford the textbook. Now the university doesn’t want to pay for my undergrad course with graduate financial aid. They never tell me anything so I have to call them every three days and ask them where my money is. I have signed away years of my life for a ten thousand dollar loan that is destined never to arrive, or to be fully spent at the university by the time it does.

They want to – for the fourth time – change my award status and hold up my loans. I am going to go in Monday to take out another emergency loan for 1,000 dollars so I can pay rent and utilities. During the day the phone rings off the hook with collection calls. I get my first paycheck from my teaching job on Friday, which may be enough to bring my bank account positive (I am currently 300 dollars negative right now).

I am about a hairs breadth from dropping out of school, declaring bankruptcy, giving everything I own away because none of it is worth anything, moving to Mexico and removing barnacles from sailboats for tequila money. I am just about done.