Ok, seriously - the guys just came by the fix the roof. I show the guy the leak - in the ceiling right next to the chimney. Big, wet spot. Leak. Right.

He goes up on the roof, comes back down, and says, "No - chimney look fine. I looked all around. Must be something else."

Something else?

What other than my roof is going to leak? Is it actually spewing up from the sewers and gravity is just on hold for the moment? Did somebody sneak in last night and put a hose through my window into the closet upstairs? Do I have an as yet undiscovered fourth bathroom in which the toilet has been clogged by gremlins with too much fiber in their diet, and now it runneth over? Seriously - WTF? Something else?

"No," I said. "I don't think it's something else. I think it's the roof. Before, it never leaked there. Then you put the roof on. Now it's leaking."

So yeah, get your ass back up on the roof and at least PRETEND to do something. Yes. That's right. Go to your truck and get some caulk. Ooze it out all over the joint there. Smear it around a little. Yes. Thank you.

So he comes back and says, "Yeah. I fix it. If it leak again call J*** *e** and they come fix it again."

Great. Thanks. I wouldn't have thought to do that. I'm so full of confidence now. Wonderful.