Imperial was nice, played hide and seek with my niece and had venison stew. Drove back to V's to put the dog out and home to get working on my life. Return to childhood via T, I really needed to clean my room (which is of course the microcosm). So I cleaned my room as part of the effort to apply for three academic jobs, there is no household cleanser quite like procrastination - the closing date for all three jobs is tomorrow so we'll see how that goes, hope springs eternal that one's baton gets passed handily rather than being dropped prematurely, got my statement of teaching philosophy, resume/vita, and application stuff together. Will finalize them tomorrow am and postmark them from work. Also have to go and let dog out again, as I did at 8pm - went and picked up Angela, who hadn't seen me all weekend and was surprised to hear I hadn't had a drink since thursday - no need I'm dreaming of bars, interesting. My good freind B just went cold turkey and perhaps I am not far behind - I like the life of drink but as many have said, at some point it can get in the way of life- and I probably passed that point several years ago - So I guess I'm on the Ben Franklin path to moderation.
I'm bracing for more details of the murder and while I await those post tomorrows hearing I am told that yet another Kville woman is at death's door - both sudden and unexpected. When I think back now to my childhood there were always stories of sudden and unexpected death. With my father's pastoral duties I went to fair number of funerals for strangers and relatives alike - somehow the self obsessed years of college seem removed - but I remember having to tell Mel that her dorm friend had fallen off a cliff in a climbing accident, both my grandparents passed.... in the land of the New Age where I work there are these pat sayings that accompany Tradgedy, "It seems like there sure are alot of people leaving the planet right now". This is predicated on the assumption that souls choose when and how they come into the world and depart it. A psychic recently told my secretary that for once she wouldn't be murdered in this incarnation - "so she's got that going for her, which is nice (Caddy Shack)" Does everything happen for a reason? Is there some other self making choices about the perfect time to leave the planet. I'm sorry I really get lost in this stuff in a very abstract way - always have. When I ask why are we here I mean more than what should my purpose in life be, I mean anything and everything. Why is there an I that sits here and writes these things. I didn't exist before 1973, my father just turned 72, his father died when he was eleven. When I was little I would try and explain this question to my freinds, parents, siblings as, "why the color blue" I know the sky is blue because of refraction and the nature of light when bent by water in the air, but why blue? Why feet? Why toast? It's really the most absurd thing in the world that these bi-pedal monkeys run around worried about their jobs, or their cars, or their bank accounts - the temptation to go marxist is there - to dsay that these thoughts are the luxury of the middel and upper classes - bullshit - long before I new class I had wonder - awe and wonder at all of this - from my five fingers at this keyboard to the vast millions on the planet 60% of whom have never spoken to anyother person on the telephone because they've never held one in their hands - see it's all a tangle - a wonder of thoughts about the nature of God, Life, the universe everything - What do the Monty Python boys say, "The soul does not exist apriori, but is brought into existence and development by a series of guided realizations - many of which are prevented by humanities general tendency to get distracted by bullshit (people not wearing enough hats & hom much stuff we've discovered that there still is to own). Who am I, not as a person but as a point of perception, what am I, what are dreams, why do they sometimes come true? What is time and what does it mean that it's is so limited? And is time, as some say, speeding up? How do we live more fully and be & do things that matter? Ah well - a rant that starts and ends nowhere.... people are born, people die, I was born, I will die, most likely it will surprise me, as in did you hear somthing? Lights out? To be or not to be young William. Each night I sleep and only some of it is spent dreaming - where am I then? Nowhere I guess - ah well goodnight