All during the first week of my abstention from distillates I had a mild craving for beer. This is odd for several reasons, the primary of which would be that I don’t really drink beer very much. I like beer well enough and Guinness very much, but I am more of a spirits man. I was working outside a great deal last week and I suppose nothing caps off yard work like a cold beer. I thought I was out of luck. So here I was down at the lake this weekend and what should Eric, a fellow non-drinker, have in his hand but O’Doul’s Amber. I had totally forgotten about non-alcoholic beer. It’s like a condom for my liver!

So I was on the Guinness web page trying to find out about their NA beer Kaliber Ale (Eric had said this was his favorite of all the NA beers) and I started to read the reviews. The review page read like a who’s who list of bizarre diseases.

I should go run their ad campaign based on that rouge’s gallery.

“Now that I have a rare form of Pancreatitis I’m a Kaliber man, it’s a fine beer when your major organs fail you!”

“When I came down with tuberculosis and went on medication that could compromise my liver I thought my only future was as a sober Russian prison guard, now that I’ve found my Kaliber I can still get loaded; with premium flavor I mean.”

“Nine out of ten physician’s who diagnose organ failure risk as a result of alcohol exposures ask their patients, ‘What’s your Kalibur?’ With this fine malted beverage you can go ahead and shoot!”