Papa needs a new pair of shoes:

When I was growing up, once a year we would go as a family and buy new shoes. I would get three pair of shoes: dress shoes for church, boots for the snow, and tennis shoes for gym class. My foot would get measured in that metal caliper. Various people would try to press on my big toe through the shoe to make sure that the shoe fit and that it would last the year of growth before the next shoe carnival.

This morning when I woke up I owned one pair of cross training tennis shoes that I bought when the new campus gym opened in Kirksville. When did it open? Suffice it to say that it was more than five years ago. I had a pair of brown deck shoes that my brother Andy gave me as a hand-me-down in 2002 (yes I still get sibling throw offs). I had a pair of Nike golf shoes that are really almost football cleats which I got from Hannah’s ex Dave for five bucks. I had a pair of Timberlands dress blacks that I bought a year and a half ago at Syms. My Teva sandals died last summer and I miss them. I may get another pair soon. Long ago I had some Birkenstocks, but the dog ate those when he was a puppy.

That is my recent shoe history divulged because as I understand it some people are really Carrie-Bradshaw, Imelda-Marcus-shooting-the-shit-on-the-yacht-with-Ronald-Reagan into their shoes. I still have all the shoes I had this morning, but...

I have a friend who I shall keep nameless for this story as it relates to her family. Her dad is in the shoe business. People send him samples. He and I are the same shoe size. I spent an hour this afternoon in his garage trying on various brand name shoes which were mine if I liked them and if they fit. I left with…

Hush Puppies, Dockers, Jeep, Ecco Comfort, Coleman hiking boots, Cole-Haan, Johnston & Murphy, Duffs, Union Bay, Timberland boots, Aerosoles, Marco Vicci, Ragamo, Russell & Bromley, Seboy’s, and Prada.

Twenty five pairs of shoes in all. I will not need to go shoe shopping for some time. I was bitching the other day about living a hand-me-down life. I will now quit bitching. My soul may be troubled, but now I have some sole to fall back on.