My past is sometimes a blur. I have this CD by Mazzy Star and I’m not sure where I got it. The most likely thing is that someone left it at a party back at the Washington Street house. Beth, are you missing a Mazzy Star CD? It’s “So Tonight That I Might See” and I’m not sure I’ve ever listened to it like I am listening to it tonight. Ironic.

It’s really quite fabulous. When I was a younger man music was very important to me. I spent a lot of money on cassettes and I was always the one to make the mixed tape for the party, the limo, the whatever. Sometimes my high school friends would all chip in on a limo for no reason and we would glide around the city listening to my music. I would cut in samples and voiceovers between songs, anything odd I could get my hands on. It was nothing fancy, just what you could do with a dual cassette player.

On these booze cruises we’d often end up out in St. Charles at my friend Saul’s house. Saul had a hot tub and his father had purchased two speakers from the Kiel Opera House when they gutted it. If you turned the stereo up to one (out of a possible ten) the furniture in the kitchen would start to slide around. I have great memories of being in that backyard hot tub as the January snow fell.

I’ve been in a rut with music for a few years now. They say when you smoke you lose a subtle sense of taste and then when you quit worlds of flavor reopen. As I come back from a deep depression things that I once loved are new again.